"Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy"Posted: Updated:
As always when I get my topic I send it to my kids and see what they reply. This one got some interesting responses. One daughter said she didn't remember too much rivalry. Mostly because they all had such completely different interests. One son-Athletic, one son- singer, one- son- dancer, musician.
Girls One- Little bit (a lot) country, the other A little bit Rock & Roll.
A technique I was reminded about was nose to nose. To settle a confrontation -- they had to stand nose to touching nose. Hands down at sides, Of course eventually giggling would start, but soon it was "Mom don't make us do nose to nose."
A comment from another stated that the rivalry continues as adults but it is filtered and idiosyncrasies are accepted as they mature.
This has JUST started to happen with my kids, maybe escallated due to summer boredom. I work from home during the day and so I usually call out from my desk "kids.... are you making good choices???" which is SO annoying, IM sure. I try to encourage them to work it out together and when I have to step in they both go to time out and they both have to discuss with me what happened. Even if one of them is in the right, we discuss how they could have made different choices to avoid a fight. when they fight, nobody wins and our family motto is "snitches get stitches" which.... hopefully encourages them to work things out without always having Dorian or I step in.
My kids are 8 and 4, so there is enough of an age distance between them that jealousy isnt a huge issue. They share many interests, like superheroes and sword fighting. Rocket will sit down for tea parties with Zoe Violet- and they both went to see Transformers and loved it.
I think it is important to spend special time with each child, doing an activity THEY choose. I think it helps on many levels, not just to stop fighting and envy but also to strengthen each relationship.