Mom Squad - "Curfews"
My daughter reminded me that my husband and I told our kids, "there is NOTHING they could do after mid-night that couldn't be done before 9:00". There were midnight movies on Saturday nights at Town & Country when my kids were growing up. They were allowed to go to them. They were over at 2:00 a.m. so they had to be home by 2:30a.m.
My granddaughter, if she wants to stay out a little later, has to take a picture of where she is and then send it to her mom. Just to be sure that she is at the place she said she would be.
Regarding curfews, we are not yet there with our boys, but approaching the stage where it's relevant with our teenager. The citywide curfew near us is midnight for minors. So we'll eventually impose a curfew for Sam that's situational. Depending on where he is and who he is with, we will likely start out with a 10:30 curfew.
Growing up, there were four kids in my house...2 girls, then 2 boys in that order. My sister and I had 11:30 curfews until senior year, when it moved back to midnight if we had been respecting it. The times that I was late for curfew, a call from a house or payphone was required. If my reason was good enough or legitimate, I was not punished. If I was late for no reason, I was interrogated upon arrival and had my curfew moved earlier the following weekend.
My parents were the most strict out of all of my friends, and quite honestly, I lied at times to keep them happy but to get to stay out as late as my girlfriends. My brothers had later curfews than we did, partially because we'd softened my parents up a bit and partially because they were boys.
I think curfews are tied to trust and safety. The trust must be earned and the kids need to be in safe scenarios for curfews to be given, and then pushed later with maturity.