PHOENIX -- Jodi Arias' private diaries are now public record, and 600 pages were released this week.
They date back several years, and cover most of her nearly two-year relationship with the man she killed in 2008, Travis Alexander.
Arias frequently writes about work and her Mormon faith. She also mentions suicide several times over the years, indicating her bouts with depression which have been brought up at trial.
"Today is one of those days when you wake up wishing it were as simple as just killing yourself," Arias wrote.
Her relationship with Alexander brought emotional highs and lows, according to the journals.
"I love love love him," she wrote one day, while another night writing, "I've somehow managed to become his whipping girl."
After their breakup in early 2008, Arias moved from Arizona to California, and wrote, "I love Travis and always will. We are just different. His fiery temper doesn't mix with my tendency to cry at the drop of a hat."
On June 10, 2008, after Alexander's body was found in his Mesa home, Arias wrote, "I am in total shock right now. It hasn't fully hit me. This can't really be real. This just can't be happening."
Subsequent entries included more phony statements, like, "I'm for 'thou shalt not kill' but is it wrong to want the perpetrator to get the needle?"
After questions were raised over Arias' possible involvement in the death, she wrote, "I know in my own heart that I had nothing to do with such a horrific tragedy, and while it does bother me that I am the subject of rumors and speculation, I take comfort in knowing the truth will soon be made known."