MESA, Ariz. -- It was a shocking confession from an East Valley teenager recently released on tape.
3TV is exploring the warning signs possibly missed in this high profile case involving a violent plan to
blow up Red Mountain High School.
"Sometimes I'm rational, like, why would I ever do that?" admitted the student in the tape. "But then I'm irrational and I just want to frickin kill everyone."
This East Valley teen recently spent hours spilling her soul to an investigator with the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office.
"I've wanted to kill myself, for like a while," the student revealed.
MCSO arrested the 16 year old in December for allegedly plotting to blow up Red Mountain High School in Mesa and then commit suicide. A plot she even admits feeling conflicted about.
"You say you have a desire to take others down with you, why would you want to do that?" asked an MSCO officer.
"I don't know, I really don't. I just needed to talk to somebody," the student replied.
Shefali Gandhi is a licensed psychologist and Assistant Professor at Midwestern University.
"She told the police officer, over and over again, I just wanted someone to talk to. To me the theme there was, a sense of, I don't know if I can control myself," said Gandhi.
According to the police report, the teen was caught after posting her plans on a YouTube channel involving several members of the transgender community.
While a possible attack was avoided thanks to that posting, Gandhi warns of the risks associated with using the Internet like a personal diary.
"You have this great big new world where you can actually find people who are like you to get that social support that you need to get through all this stuff," Gandhi stated. "On the other hand, now you're revealing your private thoughts and feelings to strangers who then can use them against you."
The teen, who identified herself as a boy admitted seeing a therapist even taking medication.
Both of which she claimed were doing no good.
"Do you notice any difference when you take the medication and when you don't?" an MCSO investigator asked the teen.
"I don't. My mom says she does, so see, my opinion doesn't matter," she responded.
"You have to meet them at their level and not come talk to them like you know, as an adult, you kind of have to find a place where you can show them that you are supportive because ultimately they are asking for it even though they're going to fight you tooth and nail," Gandhi suggested.
As for the warning signs, should teachers or parents have done something?
"I don't know that it's any one person who's responsible for identifying, anybody who sees this, talk to them," said Gandhi.
Warning signs and symptoms of depression in teens and kids.