Divorce-proof your marriage

Print
Email
|

by Tami Hoey

azfamily.com

Posted on October 7, 2013 at 3:18 PM

PHOENIX -- Guys who are willing to show their "softer side" may have a better chance of maintaining a healthy relationship and even preventing infidelity.

Relationship expert Mike Lindstrom says it starts with men being able to show their vulnerability. "Men are the protectors and providers, and they stress about it," he says. "But guys don't talk about this stuff. I always say guys suck at talking about the "F-word", which is feelings. We stuff it down."

Lindstrom says the more people open up and communicate with each other, the better their relationship will become.

"Women can create a safe space for us to talk about these things," he says. "That's what makes a man more comfortable to talk about those things."

Lindstrom says guys need that space. And sometimes that space means guys' nights out and guy weekends away.

He says men need to get over their pride, and open up about issues like feelings. He also advises creating rituals, like a weekly date night. "It's not in war time, when you're all fired up about something. It's peacetime. You're having a glass of wine; you're talking about what's been happening," he says.  "But most couples don't have those rituals in place."

For both men and women, the key rule is: "You can't give away what you don't already have." So in order to give trust, love or vulnerability, one has to possess it first and truly own it. Being vulnerable first causes others to open up too.

Print
Email
|