Are You My Family

Success Stories

Ariana's Family | The Trella Family | The Love Family | The Triplett Family | The Rowe Family

Ariana's Family

Ariana and Susan:

“She is so animated and loves life…she’s a great kid and a lot of fun. She is our drama queen, she likes to entertain and is very happy and that is her all the time.” With a loving look in her eyes Susan does her best to describe her adopted daughter Ariana. The words hardly tell the story.

Susan knows one thing for sure; she has a lot of love to share. After her biological son grew up and was on his own she found herself missing something. She was single with a yearning to share and help other kids. She adopted two sisters just a few years back but when the oldest moved out for school, the youngest wanted a little sister. Through word of mouth they heard about Ariana. They found out she had been featured on Are You My Family on AZ Family 3 TV. “First time we saw her…we fell in love with her video, we saw the video of her and we decided at that very moment we wanted to keep her, we wanted to have her and we became very obsessive about it,” she remembers fondly.

Ariana moved in during August and was adopted on National Adoption Day last November. Their lives have been deeply intertwined since. This is how Susan describes life with Ariana:
“I have been truly blessed with this little girl. She is vivacious, beautiful and even with her past abuse is a loving and caring child. She grew like a sprout within the first month, putting on 3 lbs and growing several inches. She fit into our home so easily and has a 12-year old sister at home to play with. It seems as though Ariana has always been here. Ariana continues with therapy and is doing very well in school and at home. She is easily directed and is a treasure. I could not have asked for more. We love her to death and she has never stopped thanking me for being her family. She has been so appreciative of her home. She constantly tells me how happy she is to be my daughter. We have 3 dogs and two birds which Ariana has learned to care for and love as well. Out of the 3 girls I adopted, Ariana has been the easiest. She is 8 now and in 3rd grade. She has a slight speech impediment, but other than that is on target in school. She loves to read, dance and sing. I thank God each day for my girls. Our family has been hand selected and we use that as a show of love. I could not be happier and wish more people could see the joy a child can bring to your home if you give them a chance. They all need love.”

Ariana agrees. “Susan is a very nice mom and I love her. She treats me really nice and gives me lots of stuff that I hadn’t had before –I wasn’t allowed to. She makes me happy…because she loves me. Now I have three dogs and two birds; five animals and a sister who I love very-very much.”

AASK helped Susan with Ariana’s adoption, providing support along the way.

“AASK has been absolutely amazing. They’re extremely supportive, very efficient; they’ve got an amazing team, but they have been absolutely great and I would recommend anyone go to that agency. They have been absolutely wonderful,” she said.

Susan’s advice to others?
“I encourage anyone to at least go and get in contact with an agency like AASK and just inquire and see what the process is; see if it’s something they might be interested in. There are so many support things that they do and you are not doing it alone, otherwise I would not have been able to do that as a single parent too, but there are so many services in place for the kids and you don’t feel like you are doing it alone. I guarantee it will grab your heart too just like it did mine!”

Remember, you don’t have to be a special person. As Susan so aptly summed it up, “It really doesn’t take much, just the commitment and the caring for the kids is all it takes.”

For more information about becoming a foster parent, adopting, mentoring or to learn about kids needing a home call AASK at (602) 930-4900 or visit www.aask-az.org.

The Trella family

There are angels among us... but sometimes you wouldn't know them if you saw them. Such is the case for Barb and Lance Trella. This couple has had a tremendous impact in the life of their family... and the lives of the people around them. So tremendous, in fact, that they were awarded the Angels in Adoption Award by Senator John McCain.

Sponsored by The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, the Congressional Angels in Adoption award gives senators an opportunity each year to recognize individuals and families who have made a positive impact on children and the community through adoption. CCAI is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to raising awareness about the need for permanent, loving homes for U.S. foster children and orphans throughout the world.

"I commend Barb and Lance for their devotion to their children and community," Senator McCain stated. "They are a true testament to serving a cause greater than one's self interest."

"I wouldn't say that we're angels... We're just blessed to have adopted four really great children," said Barb, grinning. She and her husband made a strong and loving commitment to helping children over ten years ago. Now, Gavin, Kyle and Brad, their three biological children, have four adopted siblings.

The Trella family's first adoption brought two daughters into the family. DiDi and Ashley were two and three years of age when they lost everything they had, including their mother, in an apartment fire. They began the long road to recovery - both physically and emotionally - without the luxury of family to help them. Barb and Lance met the girls in an emergency foster home in Tucson four months after the fire. "The day we met them, we fell in love with them. We took them to the zoo and played with them. We just thought that they were sweet, scared little girls," Lance remembered.

Even at two and three years of age, DiDi and Ashley already knew a lot about disappointment. They had experienced neglect throughout their early years... and a fire that would leave lingering scars. Barb said, "It took Lance and me some time to get used to the burn garments they had to wear. We were afraid of hurting the girls since they were still physically healing from their burns. Little did we know, their emotional scars would take years to heal."

Barb explained, "Those first couple of years weren't easy. The girls were having a lot of trouble understanding that we were here to love and take care of them." Ashley had the most difficulty bonding with the family. "They both could be a real handful" Barb said. "Ashley had been so traumatized from everything that happened to her that she didn't trust that anyone could keep her safe." Consistency, structure and years of therapy helped the Trellas bond as a family. DiDi and Ashley, now 15 and 14, are typical teenage girls. "Their personalities couldn't be more different," Barb laughed. Ashley is quiet and sensitive, while DiDi is outgoing and vivacious. "While they are unique individuals, they share a common history that keeps them close to this day."

Cody was the next child to enter the Trella household. "He was prenatally exposed to drugs and there was no information on his birth father," Barb explained. Because of these risk factors and the fact that he is biracial, Cody was categorized as "harder to place," meaning that fewer families were interested in adopting him. Barb and Lance understood and accepted the risk factors. They also knew that Cody would fit right into their world - and into their family. "Cody had a lot of problems in the beginning. He had a sleep disorder that lasted about six months. And he had a pretty significant speech delay too. He just started saying words at 18 months," Barb said. Since entering the family as an infant almost a decade ago, Cody has grown into a handsome, exceptionally sweet and thoughtful nine-year-old.

Jacque, a little girl abandoned in a Phoenix bar at the age of 6 months, was the last child adopted by the Trella family. "Like all of our children, Jacque was a gift. She just happened to come to us the day after Christmas! It was such a wonderful surprise," Barb remembered. After fostering her for many months, not knowing if she would become available for adoption, Barb and Lance gave her the gift of a permanent family. "When we were given the opportunity to adopt Jacque, there was no question in our minds. She belonged with us," Lance adds. This beautiful little girl completed the Trella family, making them a family of nine. Today, Jacque is a spunky, freckle-faced six-year-old with a delightful sense of humor.

Somehow, raising seven children and fostering several others, Barb and Lance have been able to devote time to helping others in the community.

Lance is an honored fire Captain/Paramedic in Chandler, having been awarded the Chandler Firefighter of the Year award in 2002. His daily professional life is filled with the stresses of emergencies and traumas. He meets these situations with a kind and soft-spoken demeanor, comforting people who are hurt or have lost all too much for one day.

Barb has worked for the last eight years as an Adoption Trainer, Adoption and Foster Care Recruiter and is now the Family Support Services Director for Aid to Adoption of Special Kids. She finds great pleasure in knowing that she is helping to build and strengthen families for children - like hers. "I want people to know that it takes normal people... normal families to adopt children like ours [children from foster care]. Families, with love and commitment, can make a huge difference in the lives of children."

This busy mother of seven readily admits that she doesn't feel like an angel. She just feels like a Mom. "Have our lives changed since we first adopted ten years ago? Definitely! But I wouldn't change a thing. Not one single second. We're truly, truly blessed."

The Love family

David and Terri Love began their adoption journey three and a half years ago when they read a small article in their church bulletin about a little boy who was looking for an adoptive family. His legal guardian was unable to keep him and needed an adoptive family as soon as possible. David and Terri had never thought about adopting an older child before, but something about the seven-year-old captured their hearts.

With the help of Shane's legal guardian, they immediately called an adoption agency and began the adoption certification process. Unfortunately, the adoption they were working towards was not to be. After considering the potential loss of a child she loved so dearly, Shane's legal guardian decided to adopt him.

"But that's okay. It all worked out," David shares candidly, explaining that without the inspiration of Shane, the couple would never have met their new son, Mark.

Though heartbroken after their first adoption experience turned out differently than the way they expected, David and Terri were not discouraged. Their adoption Family Specialist suggested to them that they might want to consider other children available for adoption. Within weeks, that is exactly what they were doing.

David and Terri remember the day they met their son like it was yesterday. "When we met him he was..." Terri begins. "Ten," David finishes her sentence. They were attending a special party for foster children, hoping to meet a child that would fit into their lives.

"We sat down next to two little boys. I asked them all kinds of things: favorite foods, sports," Terri shares. One of those children, a shy boy with beautiful dark eyes, was Mark. After the party, the couple couldn't wait to tell their Family Specialist about him. They knew they wanted to be considered for adoptive placement for him. The Love's Family Specialist submitted their adoptive homestudy to Mark's Case Manager for consideration.

It was not long before the Loves were being considered at a red file staffing, the meeting in which the child's Case Manager selects an adoptive family for the child.

"We kept our fingers crossed, said our prayers. And then Heather (our Family Specialist) called us and told us that we had been selected." Terri says. With a giggle, she adds, "That was Friday the thirteenth."

Terri continues, "when she told us that we were the family (that had been matched with Mark), we were silent. Heather said, 'Are you guys crying?' And we said yes!"

One month later, The Loves began meeting with Mark to help him get to know them. "He had already gotten to know us a little bit through the picture book we had made," she explains. But their first visit with him made it all so real. It was exciting, fun and awkward all at once.

"We met at a restaurant in Tucson and then we went to Funtastics. It's like a little amusement park. All of us hung out and played goofy golf, bumper boats and hit a couple of balls at the batting cages. David was so excited," Terri remembers. Mark, she recalls, was too nervous to be excited.

Because she knew Mark liked rap, Terri immediately started talking about music with him. "I didn't know any of the songs but I had watched enough MTV to know the artists. So we talked about that," she grins. David recalls, "For me, I was able to talk more about sports. We talked about the Diamondbacks. And he told me about how he had gone to a spring training game with his CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate)."

David and Terri took their time getting to know Mark. They were careful not to rush the process, knowing that it was vital that Mark feel comfortable in their home and in their lives. When he finally moved into the Love home after four months of transitional visits, Mark was still the bashful, quiet little boy they remembered from the foster care party months before. "He didn't say much," notes Terri. It took Mark a while to open up to his new parents. "It was hard for him to trust in the beginning. There were times that he would open up to me and other times he would just be quiet," Terri says with an understanding tone.

Before finding permanency with the Loves, Mark had bounced from foster home to foster home. From a very young age, he had assumed the responsibility of parenting his younger brother. "It is amazing what this little boy went through and the amount of survival it took to get him through," Terri ponders. "We're like his eleventh home," David says.

When he joined the family, Mark was set in his ways. "That was especially hard when we were trying to enforce a rule," Terri remembers. David adds, "it was hard for him to understand his role as a child because he had to be the adult - the parent - for so long. So to step into the shoes of a child was very hard for him."

"So that's one thing that we stress to him right now. He needs to be a little boy. He should be focused on things like school and X box," Terri says with a motherly smile.

It's been a little over a year since Mark came to live with the Love family. David and Terri relish watching their son grow. More and more, they see Mark moving forward to meet his amazing potential.

"There's been a huge difference in Mark, having stability," David shares proudly. He notes that simple things that other children take for granted are new for Mark. "This is the first school that he's ever gone to two years in a row," he says. "He started in the second quarter last year - we're year round. At the start of this year, he made the honor roll."

Today, Mark has big dreams. He says he wants to be a fighter pilot. David and Terri have no doubt that Mark can do whatever he sets his mind to.

A patient and inquisitive youngster, Mark has taught his new parents a thing or two. Terri shares a recent experience with a giggle. "He is very curious and he needs to know how things work. In fact, he helped Dave with the garbage disposal. Dave had worked all day long to fix it and Mark walked in and looked at a picture and quickly figured out how to fix it. 'Dad, you need to click it here,' and it was fixed." She and David share a hearty laugh. "He's funny. When I least expect it, he just makes me laugh," Terri chuckles.

"One other thing I can say about him, he will say whatever is on his mind. He won't pull any punches. He's very honest," David says. "And when it comes to his friends, he's very loyal."

Many families considering adoption overlook the possibility of bringing an older child into their lives. The Loves have no problem pointing out the advantages of adopting a school age youngster. "Especially for first-time parents, there are no midnight feedings. There are no diapers to change," Terri explains. In addition, David says, parents can really enjoy the fun aspects of an older child's everyday life. "I think especially with Mark's age now, I really enjoy it. The sport things, the first-time girl friends. We can go to a movie and take him with us, you know? We can be really family-centered."

Terri says that she and Mark have a close mother-son relationship. "When he first came here, I would lay in bed with him in the evenings and sing to him and read books to him. It was great," she says. That bonding experience has paid off. Mark and Terri are able to talk about just about everything. "We talk about all sorts of things. He asks questions like 'When am I going to get pimples?' He knows he can ask me questions and I will answer."

David's relationship with Mark is a little different. "I think when Mark's Dad was alive, he was his hero," David explains. An understanding and loving father, David shares, "Ever since he been here, I've told him that I'm not here to replace his Dad but to help him grow and really have a fair chance at life." Though Mark may need time to understand this complicated dynamic, David's heart has already decided. He is Mark's Dad and his son makes him proud.

One thing changed for Mark the day his family finalized his adoption: his name. In more ways than one, he added more "Love" to his life. Mark has decided to hyphenate his old last name with his new last name. Terri explains, "he's been a part of this the whole time - the decision making process. When it came to his name, we wanted him to choose." By taking this new name, Mark claimed David and Terri as much as they were claiming him.

The adoption journey is filled with many ups and downs. For David and Terri, the journey has been a positive, life-changing experience - one that they would not take back for anything. David admits, "It hasn't always been peaches and cream. But I think you always have to focus on the positive." With the eloquence of a proud father, he adds, "Just to see him smile, to be a little boy. Just to see him happy. That's what makes it all worth it."

The Triplett family

The Tripletts have four children two of them adopted. Like many couples they went through the trials and tribulations of infertility and were fortunate enough to have twin boys that way. Ultimately they were unable to have more children of their own but they felt that their family was not complete so they turned to adoption. They soon heard about a baby without an adoption plan because of the mother’s drug use. They studied the situation and figured out that they could deal with anything that came up so they completed their certification and submitted a birthmother letter. In the end they were chosen because they didn’t specify a preference for a boy or a girl. They adopted Alexis in 2000 and haven’t looked back. Two years later they adopted Kobe who was 11 days old at the time and had no adoptive plan because he is half African American and half Japanese. Now they know not only is their family complete but they have found a passion to share their story of adoption and help others who want to go down the same path. “We didn’t set out to save these kids we just wanted to have more children.” Says Kirk, “I guess that is the great thing about adoption…everybody comes out a winner. The children get permanent loving homes, the parents get the family they have tried so hard for, and even our communities benefit because we don’t have to use our resources to raise these children”.

The Rowe family

We Knew...
We knew that we only wanted a newborn or toddler to join our family. This was a simple decision, only a newborn or toddler would need us. They would need to be cuddled and taken care of, they would need to become a part of a loving family, they would need us to be their advocates to help erase the challenging parts of their past, they would need and we needed to give.

We learned and then . . .

We heard about three children ages 3, 4 and 7. Yes, three children. An older, harder to place sibling group. Three kids who didn’t have a family. Three kids with a troubled past. But still the question we asked was “do they need us?” Are they too old to be cuddled, could they become part of the family. Was three too many at one time.

We learned and now . . .

Almost two years have past. We can now assure you that sibling groups need you. Seven year old little boys need you perhaps more than a newborn could ever imagine. Three and four year olds can melt into your family and time simply heals the past.

So now we know . . .

That adopting older, special needs children and a sibling group was the best decision we have ever made. Now we need them just as much as they need us.

Meet The Kids l The Story l How to Help l The Process l Getting Started l Success Stories l Resources l Home